Two kinds of tired

Fatigue from exertion use resolves with rest. Fatigue from maintenance does not, because the thing draining you never actually stops.

If what depletes you is continuous self management, keeping a mood steady, keeping a performance consistent, keeping other people comfortable, then lying down does not interrupt it. You are still doing it. This is why rest fails for a specific kind of person and why being told to rest feels unhelpful or even dismissive.

The cyclical feeling of burnout

Short cycles of anxiety and depression are typically the calling card of burnout.

Most of the people I see for burnout also describe a low grade vigilance they have carried so long they stopped noticing it. The reality is it takes energy to keep up this vigilance to the point that we often are only ever have half the energy we normally would throughout the day.

Often times this state is rewarded at work or even expected as part of the culture. This reinforces this trapped feeling while no matter what we do it doesn’t feel like we’ll ever catch up.

What the work involves

Some of it is practical. Where the demands actually come from, which are negotiable, what you are protecting by not negotiating them.

Some of it is slower. Most people who burn out are running a standard they did not set and have never examined. Where that came from matters, because arguing with an unexamined standard does not work.

If ADHD is part of the picture, and it often is, that changes the approach. Undiagnosed ADHD makes burnout considerably more likely.

ADHD and neurodivergence

Common questions

Is this just stress?

Stress resolves when the stressor does. If yours has outlasted the situation that produced it, something else is holding it in place.

Do I have to quit my job?

No, and I will not push you toward that. Plenty of people I work with stay and change how they occupy the role. Some leave. That is a decision worth making slowly and with an accurate picture.

How long does this take?

Most people notice something shifting within a couple of months. Whether you stay longer usually depends on what turns up underneath.